Lazy days?

When I don't go out, I feel like I have a "lazy day".  Loads of laundry, trash, and other household chores don't seem to hit my radar to remove the lazy stigma. I'm a big label person. I love being a wife. I feel like I'm a good daughter. I'm surrogate mama to three furry boys. I'm an alto in the choir.

Where this all goes awry is that I'm used to the majority of my internal label revolving around my work title. I'm a sales rep, or I'm in customer service, or even I'm a front line cashier. Now I have no outside work so my sense of identity, or the loss thereof has left me reeling. I'm a little surly sometimes. I'm a lot guilty sometimes. Worse yet, the lack of work title has left a void that I'm trying to figure out how to fill. I've started crafting and finishing in process stuff. I'm learning more things and feeling my way through, but it's been a struggle. Added to this, it was my choice to cease working. So I can't even be angry with the company like I might be if they ended my employment.

Of all the things I thought I'd have to deal with at this point of my life, figuring out "who" I am didn't even make the list.  I expected to be tied to an unhappy place of employment and the relief of that loss has been startling. The job was an almost debilitating weight on me and not having that on my shoulders is taking some getting used to.

I'm quite blessed in this life in so many ways. Blueman has infinite amounts of patience with me which is pleasing and annoying. He doesn't take my moody bait.  Each day that passes I feel more grateful and I am learning to enjoy this new life.

Sometimes I want to curl up like my boys.